HAS ANYONE GOT A GOOD FOOTBALL JOKE TO LIGHTEN US REDS FANS UP A LITTLE DURING THE INTERNATIONAL BREAK ?

A father and son were eating breakfast. The fathers newspaper had the headline "Van Gogh sold for £40 million".
The son asked "is he worth it, Dad?", to which the father, surprised at his son's interest in fine art, replied "I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?"
The son said "Well, Chelsea paid more than that for Shevchnko, and he was crap"

1. Jose Mourinho has been offered Martin Jol's job at Light Weight Lane, but turned it down claiming "I'm not that fucking special"

2. Royal Mail have just recalled their latest selection of stamps, featuring pictures of Alex Ferguson on them. Apparently people were confused which side to spit on.

3. What is the difference between Jose Mourinho and God ?
God doesn't think he's Jose Mourinho.

4. What would you get if Man United were relegated ?
40,000 more Chelsea and Arsenal fans

It's an old one but here goes.....
A fanatical LFC suporter went to America for a holiday and his trip took him to an Indian reservation. Our man went into a room and there siting crosslegged on the floor was an Indian brave, headdress feathers, the lot. "Who's he?" our man asks. "Oh he's the memory man" he was told. "He has the best memory in the world. Ask him any question and he'll know the answer straight away" Our man thinks he'll be able to beat him so he asks the memory man "When did LFC first win the FA CUp?" Quick as a flash the memory man says "1965". "My God" thinks our man "that's brilliant".
Our man so enjoyed his holiday in the States that he decided to return the following year and he also decided to go back to see the memory man. Walking into the same room our man was pleased to see the memory man still sitting on the floor. Our man went straight up to him and said "How!" Quick as a flash the memory man said "Ian St John, five yards out, diving header" George, Australia

here is my joke it goes like this! RAFA,KEWELL,LETO,CROUCH,AURELIO c'mon this is a footy talking website not a joke shop!

I liked EDDIE'S one on ferguson and spiting.

its not a footie joke but its about the rugby world cup.

since there recent exit from the rugby world cup, condom sales in austrailia have gone down. apparently, it only takes 1 jonny to screw 15 austrailians!!!